I've been through 3 major career transitions and have explored over a dozen potential career paths. This is my story of discovering meaning, passion and purpose.

Graduation is a time of great optimism and hope. We’re eager to take on the world, and make something special of ourselves. I wanted to get a great job, make a tonne of money, and make my parents proud. What I got instead was “retail”.

Before my first career ever began, I had already been a camp counsellor for special needs kids, a paper pusher for the government, and a secret shopper security guy. I had worked in an industrial packaging plant, cubicles of many different kinds, and even a psychiatric ward. I learned mostly about what I didn't want to do, which is valuable as well, but not as satisfying.

As much as I resented retail, I liked selling jeans. It was mostly talking to people, offering useful points of view, and helping people make confident decisions about their clothes.

But I was ambitious, I wanted much more.

I wanted a corporate job, at a really big company. I wanted a mega salary and 4 weeks vacation. I wanted stability and financial security. I wanted independence. I wanted freedom.

But if I'm honest, I was more motivated by the opposite. I was afraid of failure, of disappointing my parents, and of embarrassing myself among my friends. The anxiety and boredom were crushing. I put a lot of pressure on myself and ended up on the couch every night watching “scrubs” till 4 in the morning.

But I remained resourceful and open-minded. I found a unique "admin/jr. recruiter" position at a small IT company and was incredibly relieved to be starting a real career. Interviewing candidates was like going backstage, behind the scenes. I loved it.

And I steadily climbed the corporate ladder.

Within 6 years I was in a national-level role at IBM Canada where I was happy and thriving. I saved some money and started shopping for an apartment. I fell passionately in love with architecture and design. I had a girlfriend and bought a two-story loft. But crisis was soon to follow.

The 2008 financial markets famously crumbled, as did my job, and along with it my prior notions of corporate stability. Rather than return to recruitment I embraced my new passion wholeheartedly. I took the opportunity to reinvent myself. I wanted to become an entrepreneur. I wanted to be independent. I wanted to be free.

I took big risks. I bought a rental property, something I had wanted to do for a long time, but with a friend’s friend I had met only 6 months prior. I leased $10,000 worth of camera equipment to freelance as a photographer of architecture and design. I sold the loft apartment I loved to make it work.

Only to pivot again within 18 months.

I had been feeling a sense of mastery over my career, having taken it into my own hands. But there was a cost. Perfectionism, obsessive control, and self-criticism led to overwhelm, burnout, and procrastination. Sure, there were moments of triumph, but overall my photography business floundered. For the first time, I was the captain of my own ship, but I had no idea how to sail.

So foolishly or not, I went back to school. I got an MBA and focused on real estate, following my love for the built environment. I wanted to become a developer, I thought. I would make my mark on the Toronto skyline one day.

After my masters degree I landed at a boutique development firm. The very company that built the loft apartment I loved so much! I would eventually see the projects I worked on become beautiful homes. I bought another income property. I had become obsessed with real estate. When my boss recommended that I get a realtor's license, it immediately made a lot of sense.

That decision led to 12 years in a thriving and fulfilling career. But as you know, that is not the end of the story.

Being a Realtor is a lot of fun. It’s complex, and the stakes are high. I learned that a single conversation can make a powerful impact. I really enjoyed talking to people about homes. I offered useful points of view from my experience, and I helped a lot of people make confident decisions about where to live.

I started to see more patterns. I always seemed to be guiding clients through a process. And often, my tendency to be honest, resourceful, and optimistic were factors for success. I would learn later that these are my character strengths, values that I naturally express.

But as crises go, covid was a doozy. My business took a big hit, and I found myself exploring new pastures yet again. I wanted to leverage my strengths, I wanted greater freedom. I wanted to make an impact.

I found coaching, and I was a beginner again.

The art of coaching is nuanced, and its power can manifest in a single conversation. I’ve experienced it myself. There is magic in thinking out loud with someone who holds you in higher regard than you do yourself.

As a coach, I'm growing every day. I’m so grateful to all the clients who trust me with their time and attention. They have taught me at least as much as they have learned for themselves.

What I want for each of my clients is simply what I’ve always wanted for myself: To just be myself. To express myself honestly. To live a life true to myself, in alignment with my values. To know that I have a perspective worth sharing and to not be so afraid of the necessary failure that is inherent in success.

If I could go back in time and chat with that recent grad on the couch, I would tell him that everything is unfolding as it should, so he doesn't have to feel so hopeless, ashamed, and alone. But I would also give him some hard truths. That this won’t be the last time you feel lost, even as you enjoy the heights of finding clarity and direction. That as much as you have learned about yourself there is still much more to learn.

I would tell him to keep doing what he’s doing. Just keep talking to people. Offer them useful points of view. And see if you can help them make confident decisions for themselves.